Archive for June, 2013


A noun meaning a person who shares or occupies the seat next to oneself. Its a word that I can used to describe the situation I have with you.

S – special
E – each
A – attention
T – timely
M – mysterious
A –
T – treasure
E –

a word that I can’t fill in already. =(

Hanky, the most special one

A small usually square piece of cloth used for usually personal purposes like wipe hands after washing, blowing one’s nose, wipe tears and a lot more and also a clothing accessories.

A word that was offered to me as one of my friend perhaps just to make me feel better. As you said that it has other meaning which was “So that I can always hold you”. Honestly, it made my night. You made me laugh and even wanting you more. But I’ve told to myself it was nothing, you’re just being a good friend trying to make me feel better. But I want to respond to that statement of yours “Why can I hold it?” But I just didn’t do it. Cause I’m afraid you might take it seriously and turn the topic to serious one or joke or maybe you just want to get an answer.

How I wish you can be that hanky as you said, someone who will not wipe my tears but someone whom I can hold on always. Someone who is just there willing to be there for me. But whatever it is, you’ll be that special hanky for me and will be kept in the little pocket of mine which is my heart.

Thoughts Of You

Tonight, as I listen to the song of Chasing Cars played by Snow Patrol in a instrumental that was used in the film of one Filipino Movies last year you’re the one I’m thinking of.

How I wish I have this guts to tell it, to show it, to make you feel it but what can I do if I have this fear inside of me of what might be happen, what will be your reaction. I don’t know how we become that close, but honestly we’re not that close. Perhaps we just talk if there is a common topic to talk about it.

As days, times, minutes and seconds goes on and on. There are times I wish I can be but I know it cannot be because we’re in one company. I don’t know you that much but honestly I want to learn more about you but I don’t know where I’m going to start with it. Because I’m afraid I might ask you a lot of question and you get irritated or get notice that there’s something I want from you. But as days passes by, I feel more comfortable with you unlike before that I’m shy, my voice was shaking, nervous. A lot of stories I heard about you from our officemate but more often was they talking the negative side of you like they were irritate of you. They don’t see your good side or perhaps I’m blind, but I’m not because you can easily be approach and talk with. I just don’t know if it because we have common grounds? But whatever it is, just for me, one should look other people in good side because everyone has their good and bad side.

In this past few months that I’ve stay, there are many times I attempt to avoid you especially after I had my buying trip. Because that was two weeks that I didn’t see you, I thought my feelings subside but it’s not it’s just make me more miss you. Until now there is this little voice inside of me that telling me it’s ok but I’m afraid. And I was thinking of your age that for sure you’re looking for that partner that would already spend for the rest of your life and I don’t want to waste your time if I am not and I don’t want to miss your opportunity to find her. I should be happy because we’ve crossed our part. I don’t know when or how long I can spend time with you, but the times I had with you will be part of my memories.

I don’t know if you feel the same but there are times I feel or is my mind that was thinking too much giving meaning to your actions I wish I was wrong so that my heart will get back to its normal the way it should be. Is not that I’m giving up on what I’m feeling right now but it shouldn’t be too much that I forgot to leave for myself and I know that there will always be pain because it’s part of it that we called it “LOVE”. I should’ve lessened my concerns for you, it’s not that I don’t want to give you attention but I should because I don’t know what’s going on with you. Maybe I am just your younger sister for you.

Funny part, every time we get a chance to be together you’re always my seatmate in all gatherings that was happened in this few months.

If you can still remembered before I told you no it’s not told I’d texted you the word “Thank You” and you ask me why, I didn’t give you any explanation I just replied someday I’ll let you know it. I said that because you made me realize something that I should have done before.

Thank you is what I want to say to you until the day we might apart (sorry for nega, but its not cause one doesn’t know until when). There’s no need for explanation, let’s just say “thank you for everything”

Don’t give in t…

Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.

again.. I’ve dreamed about you, smile

My morning was great but I feel weird cause its you that I’ve seen it my dream. I’m not thinking you anymore because we’ve been casual already. Everyday I got a chance to talk to you even just for a short talk somehow it makes my day.

I don’t know how why or what that makes me fall for you but its been a couple of months I have this feelings for you. I don’t know why you become so special for me but yes you are special. I want you but I know those are only my feelings I don’t know exactly how you feel. Also, I’m afraid that if ever just if ever that would be happen things will be different the way we have it this present. Cause its really different if friends and lovers. These two things is not same.

There are times how I wish that you could read this what I’ve been writing in my blog just to address you what I have for you. But there is this little voice telling me “Are you sure?” cause if that happens there is only two things will happen you will ask me or remain quiet and don’t be bother.

“you can not give what you don’t have”

A phrase used a while ago as I attended the mass. It’s a broad topic to be discussed it and yet it is so meaningful and a lot of ideas can be talked about this phrase. It’s so simple and it’s true. One example that was used is that if you have a little forgiveness within yourself, you also have little love how will you receive that from people surrounds you.

some good things are not meant to last

at last, I get my peace of mind after a week. its painful, its hard but i felt better after having a talk with you guys. I guess this will be the end of everything. I don’t know what really matters with you or perhaps i think too much. But I won’t be thinking too much if I don’t feel something is wrong. Cause your actions shows something that’s why I think that. I’m not dumb. I’m a human being, I have feelings. I’m just here, I am. I just waiting for you guys to talk to me. But still, I’m the one who make the move cause I want to clear everything but it will just end up here. And I’m ok with that.

let’s called it “sweet revenge”

How was your morning? Mine, was a great one. Have you eat your breakfast? Me, yes and lets say there’s additional.=) Early this morning I handed her that piece of paper as I was advice to returned it and see their reaction. And Ola, they were shocked. They didn’t expected that I guess. It was really great relief for me and more peaceful. Thanks for the person who make “kulit” to do that. After that, I was perhaps expecting them to ask me but it didn’t happened. But honestly, I don’t care anymore. This will be the scenario for the … meantime? perhaps as long i’m there? whatever it takes, i don’t care. All you have to do is to ask me that’s all I am waiting for you but I guess you’ve misinterpret it or don’t have the courage to ask and talk and listen to what I have to say. Or perhaps, someone did their move already before I can explain my side.

But anyway, I should have thank you guys for having those attitude you’ve shown me. You just made me stronger enough to walk away to you.

til the end of the day its still you

One Saturday, I came to office in exact time like 8:01am whew! grace period. A happy morning cause you approach me because of the Starbucks tumbler you’ve been hunting for all the branches you can visit just to have that tumbler. We had our little talks, you’ve even shared that you bought shoes last night. During the time of going home, I’d stay due to some things to be done. We had our talks with one of our office mate making jokes and keep on laughing. I thought that day will end there but its weird that you txt me tonight saying “take care cause it’s raining hard” I don’t know if you are really concern or pity for me.. But, just want to say thanks! Whatever is that I appreciate it. =)


fear \’fir\

verb – meaning: to be afraid of

Fear is what I’m feeling right now for the things that happening right now. But I know I can get through to it.

But the one thing I’m afraid of right now is that I’m falling for you. I’m afraid of letting you aware my actions towards you cause I know that some people will just grab the opportunity. I want to let you know and feel how special you are to me in my own little ways. But there’s back of my mind that it is right to give you some signals? Cause I don’t know if you are aware, or it is your normal way to be like that sometimes.

Also, if ever just if ever I’m going to a relationship again. One thing that scared me right now is that I might get hurt or vice versa. I know its part of it, but just don’t know what kind of hurt will I might get. Cause the point of giving oneself to other people it’s like giving them the right to on how they will or might or may treat you.