Archive for May, 2014

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Kindly empty yo…

Kindly empty your tank… you might get hurt again… please do remember that..

Breaking free

To be honest there’s no issue. Napikon lang talaga ako sa kanya that day, that’s why sinabi ko lang na napikon ako. I just need a breather. I don’t have other intention to that. You don’t have to told me everything those things, but it happened it just slipped to your mouth. I don’t know what is your purpose for saying those things. Are you really that concern? Or are you up to anything else?

You know what hurts me? The word that comes out from your mouth.. Telling me that “pakiramdam mo kasi mas matimbang siya keysa sayo” wow, is there a thing that can be used to measure it? And it is necessary that everything should be measure? Lastly, would the answer really does matter.

Opinion: It is not right to used that word then you’re telling me you’re just concern. That was two different thing. Saan ako nagkulang? Or hindi ka lang kuntento? But you know what, after the words keep playing on my mind one thing to describe was you’re a jealous friend. It also came out from your mouth. Each one of you, I’m doing a favor as long as I’m available. For me, it is okay if the judgment came from the people who doesn’t know me but from a person whom you’ve almost spent a year (know what I mean). It seems like all the effort I’m doing was nothing for you.

Blog?

Opinion: Haven’t you received a notes from me? You always have and yet you received and can have it physically. While the person I’m writing this blog he can not have it physically.

You said, it is because my actions. Why? Is there anything wrong with my actions? How I wish you’ve asked yourself first how did I remained in the group after everything that happened. Because honestly, the question is how will you face that person again after telling your feelings. I don’t have the face to face him again but I did. I just wish/hope that you just look it in the bigger picture.

Opinion: What’s the problem if I remained that way to him. Should there be any changes? For me, it does not necessary. Why? It is because if changes happens it only mean one thing and that is “affected”. And I know for myself if that happens, in the end of the road I know I’m going to hurt myself. Isn’t you should be happy because we remain that way or should I rephrase it by I overcome it. It’s like you’re telling me that I don’t have to right to remain as friend with that person after all. How I wish you know the word respect. 

Lastly, saying that “plastik”.

Opinion: You think that’s professional? In any circumstances, that’s a foul word. Because no matter who was he/she, we are that but we’re just doing it differently. Do you think its moral? Maybe you will tell that was you’re just telling the truth or for just being real. But have you taste it for yourself? That was below the belt. I was humiliated.

One more thing, I just wanted to hear from you a word sorry but you didn’t think it was necessary for you to apologize. Because you’re just concern. Should I repeat it, it was the words you’ve used. That was the saddest part here. That’s the only thing I want to hear from you, but I guess it’s already late.

You’ve wounded me once, I’m not that healed yet and yet you’ve made another one. 

Confession: Yes I did. I did tell him, not to persuade him but because he was involve. If its not, then just put it in as a topic/subject. But after confessing to him I thought he understood me, but I guess not. He asked me, is there anyone who’s affected? I said ‘No’. But ‘yes’, its me. (I lied because I don’t want you to know how much it hurts me.) Well I guess you’re not that concern. I just did that because you deserved to know it. And thank you for not telling to that person that I’ve talked this thing to you. For me, I don’t have to confess to her that I’ve told you these things because if she’s a friend she will surrender herself to you that she made a mistakes. Because if you’re really friends you will understand each other. Its not my mess to clean up, does she even knew what she caused me? She ruined my mind and perhaps a good relationship of me between that person. You always said ‘magkakampi tayo” that’s why I always stay beside you.

Mine, was yes napikon ako.

Realization:

For how many times we have talked, trying to resolve the issue. But every time we’re talking you know what I heard from you. One word “I”. Your only concern was yourself, your feelings and etc. Do you have the concern for the people you’re talking with? In front of you? While me I was carefully with my words because I don’t want to hurt you, and yet the words were just coming out from your mouth seems you didn’t filter it. So I decided to shut my mouth and let you win the argument. Because I was tired, I was tired defending myself. Explaining my side and yet you didn’t understand what I want to tell you. You heard it but you just don’t understand it. And lastly, at least those words didn’t come out from my mouth.

Some people just want to be right all the time but are totally insensitive towards other people’s feeling. They win the argument but they lose the respect.

I didn’t write this on purpose, I just want to forget every thing, every detail. And I’m lifting this up to Him. If His will that we’re friends, He will make His way.  But if not, I guess every thing ends here. Cause it only cause too much pain for me, of all the issues we had encounter before, this one really breaks me.  I’m not tired physically, but my mind yes its tired really and badly.

I just hope you know how did I make just to stay in the group. I do exert my effort, but for now even a single effort my body doesn’t want to respond anymore.

I didn’t even defend my right to remain as friends. And I guess its okay with that person. I don’t need to fight for a space/place to that person.

 

Words to ponder:

*Scars speak more loudly than the sword that caused them.
*Every word you speak has the power to hurt or heal.
*Be careful what you say, you can say something hurtful in ten seconds but ten years later, the wounds are still there.
*No one heals oneself by wounding another.
*Some people use their own hurt as an excuse for hurting others.
*Negative words can destroy your relationship. Watch what comes out of your mouth.
*Before you say something, stop and think how you would feel if someone said it to you.
*The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
*There no size, depth, amount, and volume to measure the worth of a person because if we do no one will be contented.
To be honest I’m the type of person who does not care about the opinion of others but the time you speak you shake me up.
I didn’t know if this was the whole thing.. Let me just put in this way, it’s how I interpret it. There no issue, the issue was created….. There are some related post to this but I didn’t post it, I just put it this one. Its almost here, everything.  My feelings towards  the issue.

done watching t…

done watching the heirs (kdrama)..

Here are eight …

Here are eight worry stoppers:
P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L

1. Pray, first. Don’t pace up and down the floors of the waiting room; pray for a successful surgery. Don’t bemoan the collapse of an investment; ask God to help you..

2. Easy, now. Slow down… Assess the problem. Take it to Jesus and state it clearly.

3. Act on it. Become a worry-slapper. Treat frets like mosquitoes.. The moment a concern surfaces, deal with it. Don’t dwell on it. Head off worries before they get the best of you..

4. Compile a worry list. Over a period of days, record your anxious thoughts. Maintain a list of all the things that trouble you. Then review them. How many of them turned into a reality?

5. Evaluate your worry categories. Your list will highlight themes of worry. You’ll detect recurring areas of preoccupation.. Pray specifically about them.

6. Focus on today. God meets daily needs daily. Not weekly or annually. He will give you what you need when it is needed.

7. Unleash a worry army. Share your feelings with a few loved ones. Ask them to pray with and for you.

8. Let God be enough. Seek first the kingdom of wealth, and you’ll worry over every dollar. Seek first the kingdom of health, and you’ll sweat every blemish and bump.. But seek first his kingdom, and you will find it. On that, we can depend and never worry.

silence

should i break my silence here? should i write it down everything here? if I do it, will I be okay. I don’t know how am I going to heal myself. But I just to forget all of it, but its hard because it keeps on playing in my mind (especially the words).

how to end your saturday?

serenading with the OPM band, side A. one of my favorites.

and watching a movie.