A question I asked my friend this afternoon, I asked her how will you make friends again? Telling her, that after what had happened to me, I totally shut down myself to anyone. Seems I’m talking to each one of them but it was just shallow, I’d never tried to have deeper conversation with people again. And then I told her that, I have this newly supplier that is ‘makulit’ really and badly. That I always said to that person, ‘why are you making friends with me? All I have was a business transaction with you.’ But at the back of my mind, there is this one phrase that I’m holding, ‘what is your intention behind those stuff?’ Because after what happened, I don’t want to make friends that easily. My friend said, just don’t be rude if you don’t want to be close just don’t open up too much. Because they also have feelings and they are human too.

I don’t know if that person had other meaning of saying with his words, ‘you might look for it again.’ I don’t know if I should appreciated it, that he knew it. Or he is just being sarcastic. For me was you don’t know how would I feel if I lost something, if you just knew it Probably you’ll understand me. It can destroy my mood for the day, my mind will be lost for keep on thinking where it has gone. I know, that we can buy another one but the essence of that is not the same anymore. Well, good thing that he knew it. hehe 🙂

There are times I wonder, if that person still care for me as friend. But for now, I’m contented that I being casual to everyone. And if he/they wanted to make friends, I guess they have to do their part.

It’s like each of us has their own valuable things that for some it might not have worth for them. It may costly high or cheap but it is not the cost that counts. Its how we take good care of those valuable things we have whether big/small, pricey/cheap and others and yet when we let other people to borrow/lend it they will just neglect it because for them it’s nothing.

I just remembered when I was a child, one of my cousin borrowed the book I just bought it. I lend it her and when she returned it to me. The book was damaged. I almost freak out to her, but I didn’t do. But since that day, I never lend her any books that I have.