Those things that are painful and ask your good hands to help me to let it go everything of it, those memories that keeps me painful..

insisting what she knew – not respecting my opinion.. (RESPECT)
making me feel that I don’t have the right to make friends..
that she said, she forgot that I was chinese.. (being racist)
she also said that, “pinag-pustahan nila akong dalawa..” (that’s absurd!, am I a game for you guys to have bet for?)
the option – I’ve posted it before from my other social network site. If that person knew who am I pertaining to probably, that person won’t answer that.

You know, I’ve made mistakes with you guys. First, for the guy, if just being honest then the rumor won’t come out. But I honestly repent since that day, I honestly said it to you that I’ve made mistake. If I have other mistakes I don’t know what are those, but this one I know its a major mistake I made to you.
For the girl, I didn’t know where/when/what mistake I’ve made. If ever I have, I know it is your emotion. You’re jealous how I treat him, but like I said both of you were my friends. It’s not that I don’t value you. If you just knew that there are times I felt I was just an option. But that jealousy of yours I can’t control it, because if you’re not contented with how I treat you it’s not my problem. And if you keep on comparing yourself with other it’s a thing I cannot do anything about it. If you think like its a competition its not. Its a service that one is willing to do for their friends called it helping hand or offer. As long as it comes from the heart and you see that your friend was happy about it, its all worth it. Remember, I can only control myself if I can control your mind and emotion then that would be a lot easier for me. I can undo those damages.

In the end, I still choose you to be happy because I want to see that face for the last time. Even there is so much pain inside of me that I have to lose the two of you. Though I want to win back the two of you, I distance myself to see, and you know what I see, that I don’t mean anything from you guys. Because you didn’t do any effort. That’s the only thing I want to see from you, especially to her. Until the end, I felt your selfishness. Mistakes are made by two, same goes with reconciliation it should be two. If you really want something, you have to go the extra – the extra miles. I’m not asking you to do the extra miles, you can start it by little, let the person feel it.

Because I’m one of the few people in our barkada that will really do the extra miles, that’s why there are few of them will asked me ‘why aren’t you tired?’ I would just said that ‘I’m not yet done not until I would really feel that every effort I made it’s not worth it because I don’t what that day comes that I would regret that i didn’t do those things I can especially if you knew that person that much (you can do a lot of it). At least if I gave up, I wouldn’t regret anything because I do my part as a friend.’

I want to ask You, to remove all of these bad memories from my heart and mind that keeps on winding every idle moment of time. I’d pray to you that to heal each one of us of your healing hands. I know it will take time to bring back the old me or probably not or if may it may not be the complete old me.