Archive for November, 2014

there’s a hidden message in the letter

Title: When Sorry Isn’t Enough by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas (currently reading this book)

I just want to quote something from the book though I’m not yet done reading the book… But here it is that found me, “Repair what has gone wrong” Restitution as “the act of giving back to a rightful owner” or “a giving of something as an equivalent for what has been lost, damaged, etc.” In his book Since Nobody’s Perfect… How Good Is Good Enough? Andy Stanley writes, “A willingness to do something to try to make up for the pain that have caused someone is evidence of a true apology. There’s a voice inside of each person that says, “I ought to do something to make amends for what I have done.”

For some people, restitution is their primary apology language. For them the statement, “It is not right for me to have treated you that way,” must be followed with “What can I do to show you that I still care about you?” Without this effort at restitution, this person will question the sincerity of the apology. They will continue to feel unloved even though you may have said, “I’m sorry – I was wrong.” They wait for the tangible reassurance that you genuinely love them.

theres a hidden message in the letter

A letter I wrote for that person who’ve became part of my life. And yes, I did a lot. Spend a lot. I’m OD (over dropped) for this month, but it’s fine with me. All I want is to let her feel for the last time. To see her happy before everything ends. Cause when you do something out of love, you don’t count the cost. Cause in return, it is priceless, isn’t? And if anyone knew how I did that, it took a lot of courage to take that first step to talk to them each one of them for their cooperation. Though I heard their opinions that breaks me, but still I risk, cause I don’t want to regret anything. That I didn’t do anything to let her feel how much I value her as a person.

But tonight, as I came across those lines from the book, I realized one thing that seven months had passed and I still felt sad for her in one good reason. Because she didn’t do anything to restore the relationship that has gone, meaning the three of us. Even I almost said where’s the problem, I guess you’ve just heard yourself not considering the other person. Cause it is really tiring if you’re the only one who will do everything to make things work out and the other person won’t take part of the situation to resolve/restore it. I didn’t regret anything for what I did last time, because it will be the last time already. I’m going to close the book between the two of us already unless you’ll do anything for the remaining five days. Even you’ve said that you’re sorry, the question was what you do after that truly counts. Because saying sorry is easy to anyone, but sometimes isn’t enough due to lack of supporting actions.

To be honest, I wanted to insert in that letter these phrase.. “… that for the last time, I want to be honest with you, that there is something I want you to know what I’ve done but I refuse to write it due to I don’t want to give her pain. I want to say that, I’ve told to that person what happened to between the two of us. Though it is not detailed. If you’re going to ask me, why I did that. Because he was part of it and I don’t want him to wonder why I became so cold. And sad part was, you didn’t do anything, you just let it slipped away like that. Without reaching out your hands, taking risk, so that in the end you knew that you did your part without regretting for what you haven’t done. Because I was waiting for you to tell to that guy. To be honest with him. If you’re asking me what’s your value, I hope that you felt it in the end how much I value you. But for now, I know, what is my worth to you. And it is sad. Because it seems like I’m the one who value you more. But no regrets cause i did everything until to the last point. You’ve told me once, that we’re friends the three of us but it seems like you’ve just care about yourself at all. You want everything to be yours. And that’s the time I felt that there are still some people who are selfish. If I became honest to that person it is because I just felt good about confessing aloud and being forgiven. And I’m honest to that person as far as I can remember though he lied many times to me. I still choose to be honest with him.

The hidden message was I just want to say goodbye in a nice way, to give that good parting ways to both of us. Because I want to close the book already. I just did it, so that no turning back anymore. And if you really want me to be your friend again, it will be in your work already, it’s between you and HIM. If you know what I mean, you have to pray and work for it. Cause it will be hard. Cause after 7 months, I’m still sad honestly speaking because of your selfishness and self-centered.

If I remain this way, it is because of “pakisama” for each one of you, that’s what the only thing that remain already. To be honest, this is the part of my life that I felt how hard to relate with other people.

I’ll leave it everything to Him, if its His will that we will be friends, it will bound to happen but if not, at least we end it right.

expect the unexpected

I want to write what happened a while ago, but I don’t have any energy for the meantime to write everything due to lack of sleep last night and I still have an event tomorrow 4 in the morning. And the time is 11:05 in the evening meaning I got only few hours to sleep.. Oh well, I’ll try my best to make to it on Sunday and upload those pictures.

fulfilling and worth it! 🙂

It is easier to love than to be loved. Accept love: it will not wait at your doorstep forever.

LSS: Thinking Out Loud

And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways……

2nd thursday: Love is patient, love is kind

The Secret to Patience: You cooperate with God.

  • God’s part is to provide the circumstances.
  • Your part is to provide the response.

Three things will help you respond with patience:

(1) Discover a bigger perspective.

(2) Deepen your love.
When you’re filled with love, almost nothing will irritate you. But when you’re filled with anger, almost anything will irritate you.

(3) Depend Jesus’ power.

Patience is the attitude.

The Secret to Kindness

Kindness is love in action.

Four lessons from the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-35)

(1) Start seeing the needs of people around us.
To be a kinder person, you must slow down.

(2) Sympathize with people’s pain.
Sympathy begins with the ears.

(3) Seize the moment.
Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. (Proverbs 3:27)
Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now. (Proverbs 3:28)

To be kinder person:
You must be willing to be interrupted.
You must be willing to take risks.

(4) Spend whatever it takes.
There is always a cost to kindness.
Kindness is doing something for somebody without expecting anything in return.

Kindness is the action or behavior.

the story of the ballpen

Ballpen.

What a day! I don’t know if I will be ashamed of what happened but I’m guilty. I was looking my ballpen wondering where did I placed it. My mind just keep wondering where it goes. But to be honest, my reaction was, “oh my, where is it. It will bother me the entire day.” Then someone tapped me, and handed me the pen. I was shocked. I felt guilt, because I’m thinking if I said something foul words but so far none. I’m thankful but I want to apologize to him.

And sorry, because this afternoon I heard you were asking for a staple wire. I was about to handed you but I hesitant to reach you, keeping my stand that you will asked for it.

I miss it. But I just really miss myself. The old me, who is willing to reach out for the needs of others.

serve or work, there’s the difference

Service is a matter of joy and gladness of the heart. The body may be tired but the heart pumps with joy. The question is are we serving or are we working? It makes all the difference.

a walk, just like the old times

Well appreciated. I felt good. Missing those time when we’re going home together. Unending chit-chat along the way. But I know it won’t be the same anymore, because I’m okay now. I’m get used to it. To be alone again or anymore.

Even I want to break the wall that I’ve made with every person, I just don’t want to let it fall that easily again.

Relationships

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone..” – Genesis 2:18

“It takes two to tango!” goes a popular adage. I agree, for as long as tango is concerned. It would be weird to see a person do the tango alone.

Many people, however, believe this saying applies to relationships. That a relationship will work only if two people do their part. I beg to disagree. I believe that it could take only one person to make a relationship work.

Let me explain. If we believe that it takes two persons to make a relationship work, and the relationship isn’t working, who’s to blame? Of course, the likely answer of both persons would be the other one! Every broken relationship becomes the responsibility of the “other.” And we end up nowhere when we point fingers at others.

Guess what? We are responsible for making our relationships work, not the “other.” It’s about time we own up to the very thing that brings us happiness.

After all, life is about relationships.

*What do you need to work on in your relationships? Be the one to make it work.

something I want to share from a book I’ve read..

say it before it passes

When you love someone say it. Because the moment passes and you are alone again.